Alexandra Fine, Credentialed Sexologist, M. Psych | Written by Dame
There are two questions that might come to mind when you hear the phrase “prostate milking.”
What is it, and does it hurt?
For most people, prostate milking isn’t painful – it’s pleasurable. In fact, the sexual pleasure can be so intense that they may have an actual orgasm, and ejaculate as a result.
But what is prostate milking? That’s a question that requires a more detailed answer.
Here’s everything you need to know.
The Basics of Prostate Milking
You probably know that only about half of all people have a prostate gland, because it’s part of the “male reproductive system.” There’s some prostate tissue in vulva-havers’ bodies, but that’s not the same thing…
…so prostate milking can only be done by penis-havers. (Their partners, of course, can do the honors for them).
The prostate is located “inside the body.” It can’t easily be stimulated like a penis or a clitoris…
…so milking the prostate requires work – and a willingness to explore.
Not all prostate-havers enjoy that exploration, and not all will climax or ejaculate when their prostate is milked…
…so prostate milking isn’t for everyone.
A few medical professionals, and many alternative medicine practitioners, recommend prostate milking for health reasons…
…but there’s very little evidence that it really provides health benefits.
Hmm. That seems to create more questions than it answers. Let’s back up and – if you’ll pardon the expression – dig a little deeper.
What Does the Prostate Do?
The prostate is a small gland with a big responsibility.
It produces what’s called prostatic fluid, which is an important component of the seminal fluid that carries semen. Prostate muscles also contract during orgasm, helping to push semen out through the urethra and penis.
The prostate is located underneath the bladder and it surrounds the urethra, the tube that carries urine and sperm out of the body. It starts out as the size of a chestnut, but it begins to grow bigger when penis-havers are in their 20s. (No one’s quite sure why that happens.)
Around age 50-60, that enlargement can begin to cause issues. The prostate may be large enough to press against the urethra, compressing it and causing problems with urine flow. That very-common condition is known as benign prostatic hyperplasia, or BPH. And it’s the reason why prostate owners may begin experiencing problems with urination: difficulty emptying their bladder, weak urine flow, or a sudden urgency to urinate.
BPH doesn’t cause prostate cancer, as some people mistakenly believe. However, an enlarged prostate can eventually cause more serious lower urinary tract symptoms like bladder infections, chronic prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate) and – believe it or not – erectile dysfunction.
Do urologists suggest prostate milking to help with BPH? Slow down. You’re getting way ahead of us. We’ll get there, we promise.
We’ve discussed the prostate’s function, but we haven’t mentioned something else it can do – it can provide sexual pleasure on its own.
Of course, since the gland sits in the middle of the body, it can’t make you feel good without some help. It has to be manually stimulated by what’s called prostate massage.
That poses an obvious question: how do you stimulate an organ that isn’t on the outside of the body? Well, for some people, the prostate can be excited by pressing on the perineum, the skin that runs between the scrotum and anus that you may know as the taint. It can be hard to find the exact spot where the perineum can be pressed against the prostate, though. And external stimulation often isn’t enough to do the job.
Yes, you’ve figured out the other alternative. Most prostate stimulation is done from behind, because the gland is fairly easy to contact and stimulate through the wall of the rectum. Those who enjoy anal play certainly won’t find that prospect objectionable, but for everyone else, it can be worth getting over any initial hesitation.
Truthfully, when penis-havers climax from anal sex it’s usually because penetration stimulates the prostate, or “p-spot.” (And it’s why the prostate is sometimes called the “male g-spot.”)
What does a prostate orgasm feel like? Most people say it’s similar to the regular “male orgasm,” or penile orgasm – but it’s often more intense, because the prostate contracts more times before the climax. (Important note: massaging the prostate won’t always lead to orgasm, although the chances can be improved with some very-enjoyable practice.)
For some, a prostate orgasm even causes ejaculation. The ejaculate isn’t what you’re accustomed to seeing as a result of masturbation or penetrative sex, since it only contains prostatic fluid and not the other components of semen. Even so, it can still feel terrific and satisfying.
And that brings us to our next question.
Are Prostate Massage and Prostate Milking the Same Thing?
You’ll often hear these two phrases used interchangeably, but they’re not exactly the same.
The difference (if you want to be completely accurate) is that prostate massage is stimulation of the prostate gland. It becomes prostate milking when prostatic fluid is released as ejaculate.
It would seem that ejaculation is just a bonus, if the real goal of prostate play is orgasm. That’s true – unless you believe that prostate milking can provide benefits for sexual or prostate health.
The Supposed Benefits of Prostate Milking
We’ll start with the disclaimer we alluded to at the start. There’s little or no scientific or medical evidence that “prostate massage therapy” can be beneficial to physical or sexual health.
However, a few urology specialists, together with many alternative health or self-styled “men’s health” experts, recommend prostatic massage or prostate milking to help with several different medical issues or sexual dysfunctions.
- One of the most common claims is that release of prostatic fluid through prostate milking can reduce the swelling caused by prostate inflammation. Proponents suggest combining milking with the use of antibiotics can treat both acute and chronic prostatitis; mainstream medical advice is to simply use the antibiotics.
- They also recommend prostate milking as a treatment for the symptoms of BPH, saying that a build up of prostatic fluid can make prostate enlargement problems worse. They claim that prostate milking results in less pressure being put on the urethra, meaning fewer urinary symptoms. That hasn’t been proven, though.
- Some suggest prostate milking to help with pelvic pain, saying that it helps relieve the pressure in pelvic floor muscles that can cause or add to the pain. A relevant case study, though, found that prostate massage doesn’t help with pelvic pain relief.
- Perhaps the most intriguing argument for prostate milking is the claim that it can help treat erectile dysfunction or ejaculation problems. The argument is that massage can improve circulation, relax muscles, repair nerve damage or treat prostatitis, all of which can cause sexual dysfunction. Unfortunately, there’s no research that supports those claims.
If you’re suffering with prostate problems, your urologist might perform a prostate milking in their office – but in almost all cases, the reason will simply to get a sample of prostatic fluid that can be sent to the lab for testing.
We shouldn’t move on to our “how to” section without first mentioning the possible risks of prostate milking. Needless to say, careless exploration of the anus and rectum can result in scratches or abrasions, because the tissue back there is extremely sensitive. Two groups of people should avoid prostate play, however: those with active prostatitis can risk spreading bacteria to the urethra and bloodstream, and those with prostate cancer may cause the cancer to spread.
How Do You Milk the Prostate?
We’ll avoid using the old punchline “very carefully,” and move on to news you can use.
Any type of anal play, or even playing with the sensitive skin of the perineum, requires precautions. Trim your nails (and use nitrite or latex gloves if they make you feel more comfortable), empty or clean the bladder and rectum, and use plenty of silicone or water-based lube.
Milking the Prostate via the Perineum
As we’ve mentioned, many penis-havers won’t climax or ejaculate prostatic fluid when the prostate is massaged through the perineum. It can’t hurt to try, though.
Press firmly with two fingers on the back half of the perineum (the half that’s closer to the anal sphincter) and explore, until you feel the urge to pee. That means you’ve found the prostate.
Now increase the pressure, making circles or figure-eights with your fingers. The excitement and sexual pleasure should increase. It may or may not result in ejaculation, but it should still feel good.
Milking the Prostate via the Anus
Above all, go slowly. Taking your time will increase the chances that you’ll find the prostate and be able to milk it.
Start in a comfortable position that will give you (or a partner) good access. Face down, lying on the side, or assuming the doggy-style position may be good starting points.
Insert a finger (slowly) into the anus and then feel along the inside wall of the rectum; that’s the side closest to the belly button and genitals. The prostate (or p-spot) is located about four inches in, and it’s a small, round bump. As you know, feeling like you have to urinate is the sign that you’re in the right place. (Aren’t you glad you peed before starting?)
Use one or two fingers to stimulate the prostate; a “come here” motion is often most likely to produce the greatest satisfaction. Then, as they might say in recipes, “cook until done.”
Pro tip: The sensations will be more intense if you (or a partner) stimulate the penis or other erogenous zones at the same time.
Second pro tip: You don’t have to use your fingers; sex toys can make prostate milking easier. There are prostate massagers designed to hit the p-spot, and they’re sold online and in stores. But regular anal vibrators or butt plugs can also be used to stimulate the prostate – and even though it may take a little longer to figure out how to use them for maximum pleasure, it will be time well spent.