Your March Sexoscopes

Illustrations by Lea Carey

By Resident Sextrologist Francesca Piazza

March will be dramatic — similar to January, as it also has 3 moons: two full and one new. However, our subject of focus is different, as the sky is dominated by Pisces and Aries, with a sprinkling of Virgo and Libra bright moons. We are all ready to move forward, but how to get there, and what we feel emotionally, is a bit clouded and dreamy. Pay attention to dreams, symbols and signs around you — even just repeating numbers are something to look into. Strange yet sexual dreams are frequent for all. The universe will be giving signs all month as we experience this unique mixture of restlessness but lack of staying on track. Dazed, confused, but really ready all the time! Make sure everything is waterproof and carry an umbrella. April brings early flowers, I promise. This month could bring break ups, but also engagements (March is always a weird one). Mercury retrograde starts the 22nd, so backup your computer, clean after visiting certain sites, and double check your junk mailbox. Take a step back to observe relationships as an outsider. Happy birthday Aries and Pisces! Thanks for keeping it not so real, in a good way…keep dreamin'! 

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Time to shine, your birthday celebrations will likely start early. With Venus and other stars getting ready to enter your sign, you are more attractive than ever. Until Mercury retrograde on the 22nd, professional, social, and romantic endeavors are going smoother than ever, and you are really feeling yourself. Getting off is always better when you are DEEPLY in love with yourself, and you should treat yourself to all things sexy. Throw a picture of yourself in a locket and wear it often.

The end of the month the vibe stays the same, but luck with technology and transportation won’t be on your side. Opt for more local places to meet people or even ask them to come over for once. Not going out of your way to use new technology or traveling to new grounds will be for the best until the beginning of April. A lack of attention from your partner may be a huge turn off as March ends, calm down if you can, and stare at that locket. Birthday season kicks off right around this time and all sorts of attention will flow in yet again! Be wary of a travel opportunity that seems to good to be true and likely sudden, question motives AND logistics, then decide. 

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Hey there popular! Everybody wants a piece of you — beware, some might bite! Keep up boundaries but enjoy the praise, attention, and being on the receiving end finally. You deserve it, you tackled mountains (multiple) and it's been 3 months since the year started. The full moon the first week gets you wanting to declutter every room and corner of your home. Clear out house and burn the sage, maybe take off a random day for no reason just because? You’ll never actually do that.. lol.

Mid-month, a bump in the road of romance springs up — something new is bugging you, but voicing it becomes hard. Just because you can’t find examples, doesn’t mean feelings can’t be communicated. Love yourself extra these couple of days around the new moon and wear sexy underwear just because… for you. Talk about sex, even just to yourself. Mercury retro starts the last week of the month, but as long as you give yourself a little extra time to get around, no real delays should happen for you this time. The last full moon during the last days of the month hits hard on this relationship issue brought up mid-month — if you didn’t clear the air then, your feelings will spill out. Even if you snap, still focus on you, and your recovery. 

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

The first couple of weeks this month you are focused on deepening relationships and making new connections. There are so many areas you are itchy to get ahead in, and this little confidence boost should be used just as you are! Keep connecting. Connect deeper with your partner, too, and bring up any ideas you have held back. Mid-month around the new moon, finances will be your main focus. Getting taxes done, etc, along with some insightful dreams about where to change direction at work. Be sure to come down from the cloud of career debates in your head and maintain your own physical needs. As Mercury goes retrograde the end of the month, you’ll actually ride this vibe quite nicely, finding all sorts of creative inspiration. Pull out the craft supplies! Let this creativity slip right into your sex life; embrace spontaneousness. Even if time gets tight this month, there is always time for an orgasm. It will keep your energy + mood significantly higher too during the extra long days. 

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

You are the official moon child of the zodiac and feel these intense double full moon months the most. As your emotions go from 0 to 60 almost instantly, it certainly won’t help that drama is breaking out left and right. Stay detached as much as you can and find refuge in me/us time during the rainy days to recharge. Cry it out when you need to, get angry if you need to, feel sexy whenever you can. Feel it all this month, Cancer, but demand your needs as well.

A sudden invite to help with a big project or goal, possibly for charity, is likely to come up towards the end of the month, taking a good chunk of free time away. Try to enjoy the hard work you so unnecessarily took on, but claim a weekend off ASAP. I feel like I said something similar last month, but 2018 needs to be more about you… like yesterday. The last full moon highlights where it needs to be more about you within current relationships. Who’s taking advantage? Anybody you're taking advantage of? New boundaries all around! In the long run, the improvements will last. 

Leo (July 23-August 22)

This month starts off sleepy and hazy for you, and getting out of bed will be hard. Who cares, stay there as much as possible. Enjoy all of the pleasures that can happen there. Mid-month, around the 13th, work picks up quickly demanding lots of energy but also presenting opportunities. Dress for success; dress confidently. Pep yourself up when feeling intimidated by others that can help you get ahead. The last couple of weeks start to highlight where and what you need more sexually. A dull patch, or pattern, may be going on too long without conversation. How can you bring it up? Know first the root of your feelings as to not surprise yourself. Although these days may be anything but kinky, check-in with yourself at night and let your mind wader. Dreams should be steamy, and an outlet for pent up energy from daily tensions. Otherwise, hit the gym to get out as much physical exertion as possible, challenge yourself if your partner isn’t. This time clearing your mind should lead to many A-ha! moments about the big picture. 

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

The first day of March is a full moon in your sign, highlighting your emotional state. You may be feeling a bit watched or analyzed. Step back and slow down, allowing yourself time to incorporate behaviors you notice others having around you. Although it isn’t until mid-month that getting lucky comes easy... it will be very easy. Enjoy the sudden burst of passion and physical energy, and ride that wave as long as you can. Mercury retrograde hits you easy (similar to Gemini as it is your ruling planet) and an annoyance you are used to. Communication may be unclear among coworkers — try not to take it home and think about it later. Let everyone clarify themselves; it isn’t your responsibility. This alignment can work in favor of more verbal expression during sex — don’t think so much, just talk. One particular coworker, or sibling, may be getting on your last nerve as the month ends. Stand your ground and speak from facts only. No personal insults, just experiences. This goes for relationships too if it hits there. Whatever comes to a head — you have a right to be heard completely. 

Libra (September 23-October 22)

Prep for Mercury retrograde at the end of the month by signing any documents, loans, big purchases, etc. now instead of after the 23rd. Aside from that, this month should be nice and light for you — new ideas coming in left and right. You are tuning into yourself more and learning new things. Soak it all up, and listen to your feelings. Relationships of all kinds are also deepening mid-month as you find it suddenly easier to open up to people you had blocks with prior. This can also lead to taking another step in your relationship — trying something new or revealing a fun secret. See where it goes, I think it will be fun.

From the 22nd on, the effects of the last full moon of this month (in your sign) start to brew up strong energy. Time to act upon some feelings and intuitions from the beginning of the month — and go after the changes you initially realized you needed. Restlessness could be side effect, yet easily gotten out through frequent pleasure. No such thing as coming too much, vulnerability is encouraged. 

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Time for some updates Scorpio, and I don’t just mean your phone. Your gym, friends, work setting, home decor, clothes, hair; the list goes on. But what exactly do you need to tweak about each? Observe quietly for a couple days, then present your results. This goes for any parts of your relationship and sex life that are lacking some luster. Old toy not doing it anymore? Old boy not doing it anymore? Again, upgrade, and upgrade from the mentality that you have to settle just because you fear a battle.

Pay attention to cues from your body as the month wraps up and health concerns may arise. Nothing serious, but if you haven’t been to the dentist in 6 years make an appointment instead of waiting until a tooth hurts. Listen to subtle reminders from your temple to prevent bigger problems this spring. Mercury retrograde is always extra hard for you, Miss Bossy (I can say this, fellow Scorp) but truly accepting what isn’t in your control, such as a late train, will feel like losing 10lbs. 

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

Life is but a dream for you this month, Sagittarius, and everything is fantastic. Rummage around in fantasyland, zesting up real life with all the inspirations. What fantasies have you held back on sharing with your partner? Any fantasies you aren’t allowing even yourself to have? Swim deep. Mid-month, a sudden lack of energy, physically, may get the best of you. Rest up guilt-free, and vocalize any needs that can be met by others easily. This shall pass quickly, as long as you don’t fight it.

The last full moon on the 30th springs you back to a more-normal energy level, and it’s time to finish up some loose ends from weeks prior. Catch up on work, but also catch up on those unfinished fantasies. Role play? Just putting it out there. The stars are making many positive aspects for you to move up and try new things, particularly where you are the leader. 

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

You may be there, but are you really? Your mind wanders more easily than ever these first couple weeks thanks to the Pisces energy conflicting with all that earth you carry. Ground yourself back down through aggressive exercise, pleasure or both. Once you join us again mid-month, you are ready to get out there and tap into all those prior invites to new places. Check out everything, watch your wallet (but do I really have to say that), and tune-in a bit more to new ideas. New ideas can improve your sex life, too — don’t scroll past that article from a reliable source — maybe you could enjoy that thing you heard about. Revisit old advice. Tune-in with your body as the month wraps up and observe how diet impacts energy levels and libido. Greens really do fuel your machine, have you had any? April is going to bring big style changes — feeling good inside will make all those shopping decisions easier. Prep meow! 

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

Last month was all about you — in a good way, and a bad way. So much attention can be just as destructive as it is uplifting. Keep recovering the first week of March as the full moon energy demands you rethink a few more topics, and see the other side some more. Practice patience, and slow pleasure. Enjoy every bit of your body and discover more about yourself.

From the 16th on you are feeling the winds of change, and ready to voice a pretty big complaint. Speak your truth, get it off your chest before the 22nd and the changes should start to happen. Avoidance leads to even less opportunities to speak up in the future. Say what you don’t like, but also express your needs to your partner especially. Say it all. Again, before the 22nd *ominous voice* Mercury retrograde won’t be full of technology problems for you, but is going to be extra quiet — possibly suppressive — for you vocally. 

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Hey there sexy thing. Venus, and many other planets in your favor bring a wonderful vibe and air this month. You are feeling yourself, every day, and so is everyone else. Wear that funky jacket, get the crazy haircut, be loud during sex. It’s YOU time, aqua puppy. The new moon and days around the 18th may hit hard quick — and a wake up call financially may happen. Everything can get in order, stay calm and ask for advice if needed. No need for anybody to give advice unnecessarily, though — keep up boundaries there. Adventure with your crush if possible the last days of March and watch the sparks fly — great days for getting down, but also connecting. You love mixing pleasure, friendship, and overall deepening of relationships and the planets guide you here as birthday season wraps up. 

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