Journal

When It Comes to Love, You’re More Than Your Sun Sign

 

By Sophie Saint Thomas 

“When Taurus thinks of sexuality, Sagittarius is probably the last person on their mind,” reads an astrology website that is one of the first Google hits when you search “Taurus + Sagittarius compatibility.” Those are harsh words, and having seen successful relationships between such signs, they are also false. The truth is that you can date any sun sign regardless of your sun sign. Your sun sign is “your sign”and refers to where the sun was when you were born. Supposedly incompatible matches may go on to happily marry and supposed well-paired relationships may fail. So, what’s going on? Well, when it comes to love, you’re so much more than your sun sign.


Learn your rising and moon sign.


“Sun sign interpretation is a really good way to get to know someone, but it should never be a reason not to date someone or not to get to know them better,” says VICE Broadly astrologer Annabel Gat, who is currently writing a book on compatibility, sex, and love in astrology. “If you ever read something that says you and this sign are not compatible, it’s bullshit. Just ignore it.” So, what does matter? Is magic even real? Yes, chill out, muggle. Your entire chart matters, as do your experiences who make you magical.  


Let’s start with moon and rising signs. If you know you (and your partner’s) birth time and location, you can learn your moon sign and rising sign on websites such as Cafe Astrology or the app Time Passages. Your rising sign is how we present ourselves to the world. For instance, I’m a Scorpio with a Virgo moon and a Leo rising. The Leo rising explains why I love attention, insist on dressing over the top, and have bright red dyed hair. Knowing someone’s rising sign can be helpful to understand the impression they wish to give others.


When it comes to love, Gat says that your moon sign can be helpful in understanding your emotional needs (as well as your partner’s). “Once you’re done examining your sun sign, it’s interesting to get to know what their moon sign placement is. Your partner’s moon sign is going to tell you how they feel nurtured and safe,” Gat says. “If your partner has a moon in Gemini, you’re going to know that communication is a key component of how they express their emotions and being their buddy and their friend is going to be just as important as whatever their sun sign might say.” I’ve also heard our moon sign described as our “mushy center,” and since I have a moon in Virgo, and have dated too many Virgos to count, I’m likely attracted to analytical Virgos as an effort to work out something within myself. Beyond understanding compatibility, knowing our chart can help us make sense of patterns in partner selection.


Don’t forget the entire chart.


So, what else do you need to know about compatibility? There are other key planets that tell us much about how we love. Let’s discuss beautiful Venus. “Venus is the planet of love and money and it certainly rules those things, but it also rules what our values are, and what’s important to us--how we receive pleasure and how we feel,” Gat says. So, for example, my Venus is in free-spirited Sagittarius, which makes me open and adventurous in the way I relate to my partners. My partner’s Venus is in Cancer, which is about home and security, although Cancers do have a wild side (Lindsay Lohan is a Cancer). While at first glance a crab that loves its shell and a centaur that loves its freedom may seem incompatible, that’s looking at the match glass half empty. Rather than let these differences separate us, we can choose to communicate about them, learn from one another, and offer each other experiences we can’t give ourselves. You don’t want to date your twin. So, remember that “incompatibilities” can make for some of the most important relationships of your lives, as they excite you and provide exciting, sexy, and fruitful new opportunities to experience the world and love.


What else do you need to know about your partner’s chart? “Mars is going to show how they take action, mercury is going to be how they communicate, Jupiter is their sense of generosity, philosophy, how they expand their growth, and Saturn is their boundaries and limitations,” Gat says. When we get to outer planets such as Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto, we’re looking at more generational influences.


When you understand both your chart and your partner’s, beyond your sun signs, you get a better sense of the bigger picture. For instance, I’m a Scorpio currently in a relationship with a Cancer, which is a “compatible” match, but additionally, he has a Leo moon, which I understand due to my Leo rising. And by the way, if you’re confused by all this sign-name-dropping, I suggest doing some basic research to learn what each of the 12 signs of the Zodiac represent.


What else should I know?


Most importantly, you should know that any two signs can joyously love one another, and for a better understanding of the intricacies of your relationship, consult a professional astrologer for a full reading. However, do be mindful that with astrology becoming so trendy, there are a lot of untrained scammers out there. “Going to an astrologer is always fun, but in this day and age read that astrologer’s blog, horoscope, listen to their podcast, or watch their YouTube videos first because it’s really important that you see someone who you trust and know what they’re talking about. Don’t just walk into someplace off the street,” Gat says.


Additionally, Gat points out that astrologers, even the most highly trained, are just people, not gods. Different astrologers (and apps and websites) may interpret you and your partner’s chart differently depending on their own background and point of view. In my own experience, I’ve also found that pros and cons discovered through compatibility readings may have a different meaning than we first expect. For instance, the app TimePassages gives my partner and I a low rating for communication, which confused me, as communication is one of our biggest strength. Then I remembered that his mother language is Arabic, not English, which is mine, and that literal miscommunications do take place due to the simple fact that we have different mother languages. However, this “con” has inspired me to begin Arabic lessons, which has brought us closer, and turned out to be a pro in our relationship. Astrology is fun and useful tool in understanding yourself, your partner, and your relationship, but always remember that each relationship and human is more unique and complicated than any astrologer could cover in one reading.

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