How To Identify And Use Your At-Home Bondage Gear

by Laura Delarato

If you walked into any sex toy shop right now, you’d might be a little floored to see the price points of a few leathery, impactful, prickly items that pique your interest. And, yeah. They are expensive for good reason: material, density, impact. It all makes a difference when you’re going for a particular type of play.

While we certainly want you to deck out your kink closet with the most lavish of goods, you don’t have to empty your savings account to give your partner a good smack! Take a look around your home. There are plenty of instruments you can use to turn date-night into something much much kinkier. Here, a comprehensive guide to at-home bondage gear:

Scarves: Alright, this is an easy one! Scarves give you the freedom to create handcuffs, to be able to tie your partner to the bedpost, or create a handcuff-leash so you can parade your partner as much as your kinky hearts desires. Reminder: just because they're scarves doesn't mean you shouldn't take in any safe precautions. The ability to slip two fingers under the DIY handcuff should always be top of mind, and both parties should be assure that safe words are available when uncomfortable.

Steel Whisk: Temperature play is a brilliant and frugal way to experience intense sensations without the fear of hurting anyone. A cold, steel whisk is an ideal instrument for such play because of the open-air surface area with each thinly-rounded prong. For all those worried about the sanitary aspects of placing a whisk onto a body, dont! Stainless steel does not hold bacteria and can be cleaned regularly just in time for its intended use. Place your steel whisk into the freezer for 15 minutes. Set the mood in that time with making out, oral sex, etc. Then, grab the handle of the whisk with a tea towel (or paper towel). Blindfold your partner and ask them to stay in their seated or flat position. Lightly run the tip of the whisk on their chest, over the nipples, down their back, etc. They will react to the cold! Ask if they want less or more or a second to process the sensation. Try rolling the whisk on its side across the body so the cold prongs hit the skin in a continuous rhythm. Maybe place the whisk in the center of your partner's back as they lay flat; instructed them that if the whisk rolls away they will be punished with a few good spanks!

Rolled Hand Towel: Consensually keeping your partner silent during play time can really heighten the experience and allow the both of you to play with power while mapping out different ways to communicate our Yeses and Nos (if you can't say your safe word, try tapping or dropping an object to get your boundaries across). Ball gags are expensive for good reason. They are measured for the circumstance of a mouth, they are made with silicone, they have leather straps, they have so many unique designs that play with pain and spit and comfort (all very hot). But if you're just starting out, it's hard to justify buying one if you don't know that you're going to enjoy it. Take a small hand towel and roll it lengthwise so that you're left with a squishy cylinder for you or your partner to bite down on. This will allow for that intended muffling and silencing, and provide some context on whether or not you want to invest in an actual gag!

Chip Clips: The tiny device used to keep your Doritos fresh are perfect for the much needed clamp when you want to inflict a little pressure during your play. Test the teeth on a fleshy area of your body first before you move towards nipples or chest! Attach them to the nipples and lightly tap the edges to increase the sensation!

Wooden Spoon: Meet your new favorite riding crop. The length of this ordinary kitchen tool allows you to play with distance and power as you instruct your partner to sit up straight and keep their shoulders back or they will receive a much deserved smack (only in fleshy spots, areas your partner has consented to, and within the pressure range you have agreed upon). Because it's wooden and porous, this tool should be kept external, and never used internally.

Squared-Off Hair Brush: The back of a plastic or wooden hair brush is a sadist dream — it provides a light-weight grip for unencumbered spanking while also working with a larger surface area for a wider sensation. This one is much more painful than you might realize. Do some test runs, try it out on yourself, and always go for the fleshy bits.

Spatula: The difference between this and the hairbrush is the material, and material can change the way sensation feels once it hits the skin. Plus, spatulas have a relatively small surface area — making it a more direct, pinpointed smack; I'd argue a much more painful version than one that takes up more surface area! Do a few light touches and brushes to the neck, nipples, genitalia, or try with a short-range swat to the ass for an intended sting.

Large Food Cans: Need to keep your partner in place? Grab a very large can of food (like, the ones you see for crushed tomatoes at the grocery store), and make your partner stand on it. If they fall, they get punished! It's a simple way to keep your partner in place and make them work harder to stay put!

Beanie: Yes, the hat. This can be used as an excellent blindfold that helps to muffle any sounds around the room. And when you remove a sense or two, the other ones become much more intense! Once on, place the edge of the beanie over the eyes and ears of your partner. This is a great chance to play with temperature across all of their erogenous zones (i.e. the whisk)!

Glass of Water: Furniture play is one of those kinks that we all kind of do without knowing that's what we're engaging in. It's all about using your body to hold, hang, prop objects (or people) like it is furniture. One of my favorite acts is having my subbing partner hold a glass of water out to the side for me whenever I need a sip. That person must hold up the glass while I use other toys on them (wooden spoon, spatula, chip clips). Usually I opt for a plastic glass to avoid any broken pieces in case a spill does happen. It's fun, and sets a clear line of who has the power in this scenario.

You might notice I'm missing some obvious ones i.e. candles, matches, knives. And while those items are actually used in kink play, they are definitely not for the inexperienced. With those interests, look to munches, professionals, and the kink community to find workshops that will provide you with the safe space to learn with the right tools from the very beginning.  

Trying something completely new is intimidating, and when you're not entirely sure what to be purchasing the barrier to entry becomes wider. Use this list as a way to find common ground in a familiar environment (your home!) and a world you're looking to know more about. Happy home play, babes!